I can’t exactly explain why it took me so long to Tumblr except I’m sad. Well, obviously, considering what my family and I have been through and are still going through. The lawsuit for my mother’s completely avoidable and wrongful death are in motion.
I especially want to take the time to thank everyone who’s shown me support and sympathy over my mother. I needed it and you’ve been wonderful.
I feel scared for some reason coming back to Tumblr. It’s not like Livejournal, where things can be relatively private. It’s like stepping out into the (not really real) world again because everyone’s here.
Anyway I missed you all and I hope I can be here more to talk and all.
9:07 pm • 3 March 2014 • 6 notes
My mother died on Saturday at 7 pm.
3:10 pm • 10 July 2013 • 3 notes
It’s been so long since I posted here…
that I feel totally uncomfortable starting up again because it feels like I just hysterically shrieked SOEIFHSIUHK*&#rtgiykef~!!!!!! on my blog and then fell off the internet.
So A LOT of stuff has happened in the past month since I posted:
- My mom is still in the hospital. They finally closed up her abdomen again after 2-3 days and she spent another 2 weeks in ICU before being transferred to a regular room. Her overall progress is good I guess? I say “I guess” because while she’s mostly making very slow progress, it’s difficult to have a close-up view of how she’s doing and see her like that. She can’t make it anywhere, even out of bed, without help. It feels like there’s a whole rack of tubes and stents hanging off her. And I don’t even want to get into the grosser details of what it’s like to be that sick. We really have no idea when she’s leaving or where she’s going after the hospital (rehab? home?) and the doctors keep giving us different answers every time depending on how she’s doing that day.
- I GOTS. A JORB. I KNOW. I KNOW! It was the weirdest coincidence: right next to the hospital entrance, there’s a small bistro that was advertising for food prep/dishwashing. This was just a week after the original accident, so basically this all happened and then I became a glamorous cafe waitress and flew into a completely different schedule. That’s why I thought I’d have all this time to just calm down and cope with what was going on and talk to people and vent but HOLY SHIT I do not! I basically just come home and pass out M-F and then on weekends try to catch up with my animation work.
Basically I’ve gone from unemployed and taking one course this semester to balancing work/school/taking care of my sick mom. It’s…a change of pace. I’m scared that it’s going to be this way forever, that I’m living a life that’s become way too serious for someone of my age and experience to handle (I’m too young for this shit!) and I’m depressed because what if I can’t change anything and my life is never going to go anywhere? (I’m too old for this shit!) and I’m lonely because I haven’t had the chance to talk to anyone in weeks that isn’t connected to work or the hospital.
It’s not all bad. My dad’s slowed down his business trips to be nearer to the family. This has all brought us closer together and made it easier to talk to each other. Everyone around us has been amazingly kind, making us food and visiting my mom nonstop. And I just want to thank all of you who kept her in your thoughts and asked after her.
Anyway it’s been a while and I really want to start getting back to my old life so I’m going to make an effort to be around more. I’ll be cleaning out my inbox in the next few days too.
10:11 pm • 3 May 2013 • 3 notes
Also if you want to hear posts from me NOT about my mom, I encourage you to follow me at imbloglio as well. This blog is sugarlandia now and my personal (main) blog. Imbloglio’s where I’ll be posting my usual spammy Tumbly stuff and it’ll be a welcome distraction/relief from what’s going on at the moment to spam and stay in touch and talk to people there about inconsequential stuff.
10:50 pm • 17 March 2013
Mom went into and came out of surgery. She won’t wake for the next several days. The next 48 hours are critical. Prognosis is uncertain.
7:48 pm • 15 March 2013 • 3 notes
Mom’s been upgraded to intensive care.
1:41 pm • 15 March 2013
Mom’s in the hospital
She went in for a routine exam but the doctors discovered a stone, removed it, and botched the incision. Now she could be in there for up to a week. Dad’s in China on business. I’m a little more stressed than I would reasonably like to be.
9:26 am • 15 March 2013
Let’s try this again
I haven’t been on Tumblr in a while, I really hated the interface and tagging system. It’s not a great place for real blogging, especially if you like actually keeping track of what you post and write because you want to go back to it later.
But I’m going to give this a go again because it seems like everybody I know is migrating over here.
I’m starting over and I’ve wiped 2 years and 1500+ entries from here. They’re archived in a WP blog I’ll get around to organizing later. And I’m trimming my follow list because I’m currently following exactly 317 tumblies right now. I’m going to use this Tumblr to keep in touch with people I actually know or talk to on a regular/daily basis. So if for some reason I know you and I’m not following you, I’m following you! And if I unfollowed you, it’s not because I’ve lost interest in what you’re blogging, I just need to shrink my follow list or it’ll drive me crazy. I will probably follow you in Google Reader. And if I know you and you’ve changed your name you should tell me because I can’t keep track of that shit.
11:48 am • 17 August 2012 • 2 notes